Chocolate chip cookies also work well

It’s going to be a fun week here in CaitlinMSE-land. And by “fun,” I mean there isn’t enough chocolate in the world to get me through this week unscathed. But unlike a rickety old roller coaster that gets stuck at random moments along its track (and gets welded every morning just in case), I know that the next few days will come hurtling toward me without fail, and I will cover my face in terror just the same. And when Friday rolls around, there will be much rejoicing and feasting on chocolate throughout the land.

Fun with German philosophers

Since no one unrelated to me was game enough to guess the identity of the little guy pictured here, I’ll spell it out for the non-relatives:

Dressed to match his book

Why do I have a stuffed Nietzsche? Because I am just that cool.

Also, he is cuddly.

Keeping it real

Here Nietzsche is modeling one of the goodies I picked up at the Engineering Career Expo. Sadly, John Deere is not currently hiring any insane German philosophers for full-time work, but I do believe that Nietzsche wears the hat much better than I ever could, so I’m letting him keep it.

It’s job interview season in the College of Engineering – more on this sometime in the next week or so. Also, it was Gideon Bible day on campus today, which is one of my favorite days of the year – more on this later, as well. And while I’m busy making promises I may or may not keep, I will share a special moment from TAing today…

Me, debugging a student’s computer program: “You need to delete the comma there.”

Student deletes right parenthesis on unrelated line of code.

Me: “No, not the parenthesis. The comma.” I make a comma motion with my index finger to illustrate.

Student corrects the problem. I move on to other students needing help.

About a half hour later…

Me, debugging original student’s computer program: “You need to insert a comma here.”

Student types an apostrophe.

Me, clenching my jaw, yet remaining calm and collected: “No, not an apostrophe. A comma.”

Student: “What?”

Me, realizing that finger-commas are worthless at this point: “A. Comma.”

Student: “Oh.”

And then I walk away, quietly sobbing. English teachers, best of luck.

Speaking of lithium…

This morning, in non-ferrous metallurgy:

Dr. Fraser: “What is lithium used for?”

My knee-jerk (internal) response: “Bipolar mood stabilizer.”

I blame this response on the fact that my dad is a pharmacist and my mom is a nurse, and I apparently managed to absorb random medication facts throughout my childhood. This is why I rarely answer questions in class – my answers tend to be so right, yet so wrong.

Following class, I hopped on the COTA bus to head home and couldn’t help but overhear the girls in the seat behind me, screaming their conversation in my ear.

“I just told her to let me be bipolar!” one shouted. “I ain’t gonna take my meds no more!”

The other girl ran down a laundry list of offenses the first girl had committed during her manic phases, punctuated by additional details from the girl not wanting to take her meds “no more,” then gleefully added some of her own stories of mania-induced behavior.

In the context of aluminum-lithium alloys, I can see why Dr. Fraser called lithium an “unfriendly” element, but I believe that for those girls on the bus, it could be their best friend.

Close-packed pumpkins

At the Circleville Pumpkin Show

I think I spotted at least one stacking fault in this close-packed structure, too.

See, Dr. Fraser? Even though it may look as though I’m half-asleep, I have been paying attention in class this week!

Gym socks and beans

If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve sworn I spent a good portion of today with a smelly gym sock pulled over my head.

I think we’ve hit the point in the quarter where some of the less fastidious engineering students have cut back on their showering and/or laundering of clothes. At one point during my six hour stint of TAing, one of the other TAs came up to me and said, “You know that smell that some houses get if they have too many cats living there? Well, someone in the back of the room smells like a house with too many cats.” And people wonder why my appetite comes and goes.

In related news, last week I was asked by the director of the freshman engineering program how I manage to stay awake through six hours of TAing. The other TAs and I had been discussing this topic the prior week, and our survey said: “Chew gum.” Probably not what he wanted to hear, but it was our top response. I added, “Talk to students!” for good measure. During exceptionally dragging, stinky afternoons like today’s, I spend much of the time planning the evening’s running route and getting excited about being able to fill my lungs with somewhat fresh air. Tonight’s sunset was particularly stunning, which was a lovely backdrop to a great run.

The running is especially helpful in keeping me as sane as possible, as the students become increasingly panicky in the later classes. I was talking with one of my old history professors and a retired political science professor last Friday about the feedback they’ve been getting from students over the past five, ten, twenty years. I’m disheartened to report that the general consensus is that current students require a lot more hand-holding than previous classes did. While I’m glad that it’s not occurring only in the classes I work with (giving one-on-one instruction to some twenty or thirty students throughout every class is exhausting – plus, I’m not that big into holding hands in the first place), it’s still disappointing. No amount of Seinfeldian “Serenity now!” seems to help.

Last week, when a solid fourth of the last afternoon class was up in arms over the demands being placed on them by a class that hasn’t changed its syllabus in over ten years (the chorus of this class, if it were a song: “We’re never going to use Fortran after this class! Why do we have to learn it?”), I had a little sit-down with them to explain the purpose of the course: problem solving. “The Fortran code is just there to scare you,” I said. “Approach the problem as if you were solving it in English. Ignore the Fortran. We’re just looking for you to use your brains and utilize outside resources to solve these problems. We can help you with the Fortran later.” They looked at me skeptically, and I knew I’d see all of them in my office hours the next week, panicking over the Fortran code.

If only they knew how many times my knowledge of the dietary habits of the Pythagoreans has come in handy over the years. A ten-page paper and forty-five minute presentation on a topic not of my choosing? Undertaken with no complaints? Seriously, more people should know about those wild and crazy ancient mathematicians/music theorists/philosophers who were afraid to eat beans – because, of course, when one passes gas, a little part of one’s soul is expelled, too.

Engineering Career Expo pre-game

Wednesday evening, a few of us diehard MSE Club members headed over to the French Field House to help set up for Thursday’s Engineering Career Expo. Sadly, I have no photographic evidence of Kent usurping the power of the Engineering Council officers in an effort to bring order to the chaos, which was a sight to behold, or Olivia practicing her authoritative default stance. We also employed a highly scientific method of determining proper aisle spacing between company displays by making sure that each recruiter (portrayed by Kent and Olivia) had an equal opportunity to bodycheck the engineering student (portrayed by me). So even though there’s no documentation of our marvelous skills, here’s some photographic evidence of one of the greatest volunteer t-shirts ever:

E. Gordon Gee bow tie

Companies at the Expo

5 points to whomever can tell me the name of the guy who is pretending to be Vanna White. (No one related to me is allowed to answer.)

And 5 points to me for the best use of materials science terminology in conversation. As we walked past some of the tables that already had plastic covers over them, I commented, “Whoa, look at the crazing in that polymer! There are crazes all over the place!” And then, to secure my position as a Huge Dork, I said, “It’s crazy! Ahahaha!” Materials science terminology lends itself so well to corny humor. Even the MSE undergrad advisor, Megan, enjoys slinging the terms around – I do recall one Doughnut Friday when she requested a CreepFest 2008 t-shirt from a graduate student who was planning to attend a creep conference…

The future of green running shoes…

…and by “green” running shoes, I don’t mean shoes that have been worn to mow the lawn.

I know, I know – I’m the most boring person ever because I won’t stop with the tree hugging and the running shoes. But there’s a great article in November’s Runner’s World detailing the materials that go into the production of running shoes and the strides that some companies are making in developing more eco-friendly materials for athletic shoes.

I highly encourage you to check out the article at your local Barnes & Noble or library. Or, if you know me personally, I’d be happy to loan you my copy. Because it’s just that cool.

Feelin’ groovy

It’s an exciting week here in MSEland. Two of my classes have been canceled on account of the MS&T conference, which actually reminds me of a kinder, gentler time, back in my Jewish history days, when we’d have class canceled for Jewish holidays. (Rather inconvenient that MS&T falls during the High Holy Days, isn’t it?) I’m still looking for a class that gets canceled for Catholic feast days, because isn’t pretty much every day some saint’s feast day? Anyway, since two lectures were canceled this week, last Friday’s lecture for non-ferrous metallurgy was given at a fairly brisk clip, the kind of pace that forces me to entertain the scenario that, if my life were a musical, my classmates may have broken into a charming rendition of Simon & Garfunkel’s “59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy).” I mean, Friday doughnuts were just around the corner, and we were being hypnotized by the blur of magnesium and cast aluminum alloys flying by via PowerPoint.

Also, Thursday marks the return of the Engineering Career Expo. Much fun will be had convincing supply chain reps (who will sometimes openly admit that they have no idea what MSE involves) that materials scientists/engineers are essential to the success of their company.

And last, but certainly not least, I discovered yet another song that must be in heavy rotation on the radio station of the underworld: “Rivers of Babylon,” by Boney M. It may have also had something to do with the fact that I had to listen to it six-and-a-half times this afternoon while TAing, and by the second run-through, I realized I’d been clenching my jaw in aural agony. (The only other song that I am positive is nestled up against “Rivers of Babylon” in the Best of Hades playlist is Al Stewart’s “Time Passages.” During every one of my shifts throughout the summer I worked in retail, “Time Passages” would inevitably be broadcast throughout the store. I would be okay until the part of the song with the long, shrill beep, the noise that sounds like it belongs in one of those hearing tests you have to take in grade school, and then I would physically shudder. Or convulse. I’m surprised we didn’t have more customers falling to the floor and seizing during that song.) The only reason that Todd Rundgren’s “We Gotta Get You a Woman” isn’t on the playlist is because it’s just too delightfully awful. No, really.

Positive Message Friday

Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you’re a “BONAFIED WINNER!!!” Especially when the message comes from the Queen.

It’s a much better way to start the weekend than being told that you’re a bona fide loser (give or take a few exclamation points).

No one can take it away from you

The professor I TA for is a very colorful character and quite quotable. I’m working with him about twenty hours a week this quarter – which will translate into approximately twenty-seven group presentations that I’ll have to watch during the last week of the term (gulp!) – but he keeps things entertaining with his unique wit and the occasional malapropism. I’ve also recently discovered that a good indication of the need for me to cut back on my hours is when the little voice in my head begins to speak with a Hungarian accent like his.

Anyway, here are some words of wisdom that he imparted to the class today:

“Ladies and gentlemen, if you make a mistake, be proud of it. You should be proud of your mistakes. It is your mistake! No one can take it away from you!”

I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel a lot better about all those times I wore my hair crimped back in the ’80s.